if only i could turn back time..

23rd feb’09

2pm. i was preparing our lunch.na asik je ckp psl laptop die yg rosak..while in da kitchen, i told her to call mike n tell him we r going to send her laptop tonite.she was very excited abt sending her ‘baby’ to see d doctor.

6.30pm. syalin tgh siap2 nk g tusyen n i tgh siap2 nk wat dinner.i tot well of cooking fried salmon n vegetable soup.i marinated all da pieces of salmon.takut x cukup..

8pm. i decided 2 fry only 2 pieces of d salmon out of 6.blk dr bangi nnt mkn pns2 br sdap..hik! lpas solat maghrib,i sent syalin to tution n adk to kumon.came back home br tringat i x amek bj abh kt dobi lg.eryn ckp die nk ikut g bangi, i said ok.bile kuar umah,i contemplated.nk bwk merc ke myvi? erm bwk merc la nnt kalo x sempat mira bley g amek adk2.. so,i took merc g amek bj abh,anta kt umah.then br grak to bangi..

8.30pm. it was drizzling. me n na were talking abt sending eryn 2 skolah asrama..she hates it when we talked abt. abh’s rule “sape xdpt straight A’s abh’s gonna send u guys 2 boarding school.” hee as i was driving down da selekoh exit frm bJ into da guthrie corridor, suddenly trase stering trtarik byk sblah kiri.

i tekan brek n slowly bls kanan.rite after da right turn,da car swinged cpat sgt2.i bls stering 2 da left,xmo masuk highway.da car ke blakang n brpusing to da middle of hiway jugak. da moment d car entered hiway tu,i pndg kiri i saw bnyk lampu.a lot of cars coming.i heard a honk coming frm a myvi.laju.i cn only said “ya Allah”.my left hand pgang na n my right hand pgang stering.

Bang!! i trase my body melayang knocking left n right. air bag came out. within a second,i was unconscious.

“kkida..! kkida..!” i felt sum1 holding my hand.. i saw na. she was crying. i asked her,die ok ke.. she said she’s ok. i asked wer’s eryn? she said eryn is ok too. thank god.. lpas tu,i started to feel pain every where.i felt terrible pain on my face,my left hand felt numb n also gr8 pain on my back..

my nose was bleeding..d unbearable pain n da shock made me burst out in tears. i said repeatedly “call abah..call abah..” n my heart cried for “ma.. mama..” juz like how i used 2 cried for her shud anything happen to me.

none of them could reach abh.mira n ayeim reached us. it was gud 2 hv her around. thanx,mira. she called up a few ppl.. luckily,abom n his family was there too. they helped a lot.we waited almost half an hour for d ambulance 2 come.ambulance yg dtg tu frm hospital klang.i requested 2 b sent 2 sjmc.they refused due 2 d fucking human made procedures n dat was y a commotion started.d ambulance ppl moved me into d ambulance.1 of da guy said “kalo nk gak g sjmc,xpela.kite buh blk patient nih dlm keter tu.ko tgu la smpai ambulance sjmc dtg” god!! i gave in. i called him n said “its ok.bwk sy g hosp klang”

da commotion was off.lying flat in d van.. wit da siren turned on. i tot of nothing except ” ida nk mama..” my tears cudnt stop streaming down.. i asked mira “hv u manage 2 get abh?” she said she already ask sum1 else 2 do it. “gha ade k,kkida.. sabar k..”

i was a while kt hosp klang smentara they arranged for an ambulance to transfer me to sjmc.slesai je xray,abah ran to me.he was crying so bad..

he kept on saying dat im gonna b ok.bile nmpk abh,then only i can stop crying. i was then transfered 2 sjmc. smpai kt sjmc,they gave 2 japs of pain killer.xray again.i was on dripped too. few minutes later,i became drowsy n fell asleep.

i was warded 4 days there.

spjg kt sjmc,i was wearing da hospital gown n it reminded me of ma sgt2..i told abh “abh,ida pkai baju ma..” bnyk lg baju ma ade kt umah ida bley pkai,k..

i really miss my ma..

dat eksiden really affected me. 8 yrs of driving experience n when dat eksiden happened,i hv lost 50% of my driving confidence.

bile hujan je,i’d feel very scared. takut nk tkan brek.. takut nk tkan minyak.

bile kt slekoh je,takut giler.. cuak beb!

kalo dulu,ujan ke x (bukn nk ckp besa k,nk describe je how i was doing before).. i alwiz tot dat i can control da car.tkan lebey 100 pn ok je.. nk lap kt slekoh pn orait je..hee

keter myvi tu i gave to mira.. n my dad gave his merc to me.instead,he uses da mpv 2 work. so,yg x best nye.. keter tu siap lg 2 buln. i da xde keter.. huk! sian keter tu. dat car n i was really abt to blend well. i already started 2 feel comfortable wit it.. gosh! sian dier..

my unforgettable february tragedy..

p/s- not to mention i lost my hp ms eksiden tu. sigh! i like dat hp very much.

Oh Bulan..
Enggan melayan diriku lagi
Pabila airmata membasahi pipi
Dan lagu lagu di radio seolah olah memerli aku
Pabila kau bersama yang lain

Adakah perasaan benci ini sebenarnya cinta
Yang masih bersemadi untukmu
Dan sebenarnya ku mengharapkan di sebalik senyumanmu itu
Kau juga menyintai aku

Ku enggan berpura pura ku bahagia
Ku enggan melihat kau bersama si dia
Oh ku akui cemburu
Mula menular dalam diri
Pabila kau bersama yang lain

Adakah perasaaan benci ini sebenarnya cinta
Yang masih bersemadi untukmu
Dan sebenarya ku mengharapkan
Di sebalik senyuman mu itu
Kau juga merindui aku

Pabila kau merenung matanya
Ku rebah jatuh ke bumi
Di saat kau benar-benar mahu pergi
Seperti ku bernafas dalam air

Adakah perasaaan benci ini sebenarnya cinta
Yang masih.. bersemadi untukmu
Dan sebenarya ku mengharapkan
Di sebalik senyuman mu itu
Kau juga merindui aku

Oh…

Dan Sebenarnya ..
Dan Sebenarnya ..
Aku rindu ..

Dan Sebenarnya ..
Dan Sebenarnya ..
Aku tak mampu .. tanpamu..

aku rase…

x sangka,after 13 yrs..i finally jumpe simran n valerie.

man,facebook really works! =)

we were so damn close mase form 1 dulu.it was like 1 of da coolest part of my life. ~me,simran n valerie..~

1st time knal,we were classmates mase form 1.. well,we kinda standout in da crowd. glemer gak la..haha it only took 1 day of 1st in school n tadaa we r bestie!! i remember dis routine,smpai je skolah.. aku cr valerie,lepak jap tgu smpai simran smpai..when she reached school,we’d parked our bags n went out.there’s a row of shops kt jln sembilang mAse tu (xtau la skang ade lg ke x..),we juz luv to hang out kt kdai magazine smbil mkn asam..  me n val suke sgt mkn asam dat time.i gez dat answer y me n val kurus kering until now haha (seriusly,even now she still keeps da figure when she was in school wpun da ade a child..). coolest mag ms tu was galaxY..wit all da teeny weeny stuff.. lyrics n posters.. cool sections such as SWAPS! i mean mase tuh mane de internet lg en.. as we flipped da pages of d mag,we’ll b screaming n making noise there esp bile jumpe brad pit nye pics or any of da boybands (i wont mention any particular group la,it was so outdated already hee..)

1pm timeout!,we’l rush back 2 skool.time 2 pegi pErhiMpunAn.. omg,nyampah btul time tu.skolah ptg kn,kalo assembled definitely under da hot sun.kol 1 tgh ari,imagine how hot it was..

we used 2 giv names 2 teachers yg da very da weird..haha dat was so so much fun!as n when these teachers passed by our class,we’d giggled n cracked out.haha there’s 1 more thing,there was a boy named manjit singh.he wore a big turban 2 skool.e’time kalo nmpk manjit,not juz da 3 of us,da whole clas we’l create a commotion “chop singh off!!!!” u get to hit anybody wit da handsign of “chop” n if u maintained da handsign,nobody cn hit u back..haha it normally caused a real havoc in d class even during teaching period. hik! me,val n simmy were da ones yg pretty alert slalunye.. giler bising dowh but who cares? sumhow we juz made our clasmates closed 2 each other.. cool!

yeah! we gossiped a lot!! we talked abt boyz.. i mean da hot ones only la.. haha da seniors who were chasing after us.. da gals who were so annoyingly jealous of us.. da boyz who we admired crazily.. da teachers who we kipasss.. da teachers yg gataii..hik! mmg ade ok..!! not 2 brag,but i’d say we were kinda like hotchicks in da skool back then.. hee..

valerie is a chinese.. tall,long straight haired,pretty face wit specky.. we cal her snowflakes.. in fact we hv a song 4 dat snowflakes thingy =)

simran is a punjabi ..tall,brown wavy haired (she seldom keeps her hair long.its been alwiz rite on her shoulder),she has a lot of beautiful features.hey,i tell u she’s very beautiful.. our simmy still does..!

later,we allow dis indian gal named rekha 2 join us.she’s cool too..i mean she’s our type la. she has a very very very beautiful big light brown eyes wit long eyelashes.. gosh! aftr dat,we were known as da most outstanding-multiracial-hotchicks..haha tell me abt it!!

last week,simmy called 4 a lunch date..its a get2gether thing.our lunch date was on last monday @ subang parade.man,she’s still gorgeous like she used to.

1st thing she said when we met “hey,wats wit da tudung n long sleeve huh??” followed by “since when plak u pkai tudung ni?obviously u dont look like dat ida we used to mingle..” after im done wit my story.. she passed dis remark ” so u r da no drinking-no clubbing-no flirting-no smoking gal la..” hahahaha

what time has changed me into.. =)

well,let me make a summary here..

simran ~ married on 2007 n totally not ready 2 hv kids yet..haha (shud’hv seen her face when there were lotsa kids running around,crying n she said “cn sumbody kill da kids 4 me?” hahaha..

valerie ~ married earlier than dat..she juz gav birth 2 her 1st child abt a month ago.. cute baby boy!!!

rekha ~ married abt 4 yrs ago to a pakistani.

1 1/2 hour of lunch time definitely not enuff 2 talk abt 13 yrs stuffs 2 catchup.. so we look 4ward 2 our next get2gether wit rekha n dinesh (1 of our close guy fren)..

aku rase..

pretty much excited 2 meet them again.. =)

but da true feeling is i feel old.betapa 13 yrs telah menjarakkn..differentiate n defined who we r now.. how naive we were back then dat it hd never crossed our mind what our future could tell who we r 2 bcome in 13 yrs time.

time really flies.