02 July 2009 bersamaan dgn 10 Rejab 1430..
when i looked back,bulan july thn lpas was a very tough month fo me..i cn still recall hw it feels.in fact, i cn even feel it nw.. rs sebak n sedih.i remember very well how was she doing frm day 2 day..
d removal of tumor in her brain..she went thru dat wit courages which no1 cn ever imagine.lpas je surgery tuh,yes she stopped vomitting but later then she had difficulty in breathing. i cn still picture hw difficult fo her 2 sleep at nite. in d middle of da nite,i’d b juz by her side.. holding her hand or rubbing her swollen right arm wit minyak kayu putih.. we usually had mom n daughter talk almost every nite while every1 was sleeping.. there were giggles n cries. i cn still see her smile when i asked her “ma,sdap x milo ida wat?” she’d answer “bley la..” but never wanted any1 else buatkn milo tuh except me. same goes wit her warm water. nobody knows mcm mane nk wat utk die air suam yg slightly 1% je kurg dr hot water..well,she called dat suam. sbenanye,stiap kali die mintak air suam tuh,i’d drink a sip 1st.if my tongue rs pedih cket,dat fits her suam.. pn begitu,i never get tired of doing anything fo her.. never. hw i wish i’d be able 2 do so again bcoz juz by being at her side,it shines enuff my day n nite.. ya allah,walau pn ianya sebulan yg menghimpit hati n prasaan,ianya tetap sebulan yg sgt brmakna pd ku..
masuk je bulan rejab thn lpas,me n mira brpuase sakan.. sbb doa org brpuase kn atr doa yg mustajab.siang mlm kami brdoa,menangis di sjadah mohon allah sembuhkn mama..ma ckp die suke sgt ktorg puase di buln rejab.. ma pnah ckp ,nnt bile ma xde, rajin2 puase sunat n bace al-quran ye.. “brdoalah kpd allah..krn allah itu maha mendengar” ade 1 mlm tu ma tnye,”ida doa ape td?” bcoz she saw me crying ms solat.. i said “ida minta allah angkat sume kesakitn mama,ida mintak allah sembuhkn ma cpat..” erm,lpas ni kalo doa,ida doa la mcm ni ya allah ya tuhanku,tuhan yg maha pengasih lg maha penyayang,berikn lah yg trbaik buat mama ku krn engkau lah tuhan yg maha bijaksana lg maha mengetahui.. i said ok.pastu,itu la doaku yg x putus stiap kali solat. Jelas la slps itu,pemergian mama kembali ke rahmatullah adalah yg trbaik buat die.. wallahualam.
skjap je mase brlari,30.07 nnt genap la setahun ma pegi.. 27 rejab nnt juga genap la setahun thn islam ma pegi meninggalkn aku,adik2 n abh.. skejap saje setahun itu brlalu tp aku.. aku masih lg brharap ma ade kt rumah ni. aku masih lg brharap aku ade mama utk brmanje.. aku masih lg brharap hafiz ade mama utk die peluk n cium2 stiap mlm.. aku masih lg brharap abah x kesunyian n ade mama utk brgurau n brkongsi cerita. aku masih brharap semuanye seperti dahulu kala.. aku masih brharap.. ampunkan lah segala dosa2 ku ya allah. hambamu ini insan yg sgt lemah..yg sgt rapuh tanpa kasih sayangMu..
ma,ida rindu ma sgt2..
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